i need a proper excuse

Well, there use to be this girl that I really hate, I won't state her name coz that would just be mean. I mean, she still might be a real asshole, jerk, idiot etc to some people but I think she is sort of alright now. That's probably coz I hardly see her now but anywayz...
Well, in the morning, my friend Chou and Leung were having a fight of which phone was better ( as in colour). Just for fun, we did a survey and asked like two or three classes and some teachers. The reult was BLACK!! but only just. Dude, Black is such an awesome colour! Don't you think?!
I have this assignment due tomoro but i cant be screwed to do it!! It doesn't go to our report which is good or else I'd be working my ass off right now. My friend Chou and I were making some excuses. The list...

• A dog snatched it and ran away to a far away place.
• As I entered the train, some asshole knocked me over and the bag fell into that gap. I had to board the train so I couldn't get it.
• I lost it
• I couldn't be screwed.
• It fell in a drain and i couldn't reach it
• Left it at home

yeah and people, don't copy me or Chou coz we're rebels and we dun give a crap bout some subjects and work that doesn't go to our report...