never ending darkness

It is now that I realise my 'Friends' really are out of reach. They've turned their backs on me, just like they  promised that they wouldn't. I sat where we usually sit but straight when I put my things down they move away. It's me isn't it. I move back beginning to break into tears but Deborah supports and so I stopped.

"You're Strong being able to stop those tears flowing" she says but I know the truth, I'm weak, I'm extremely fragile. I'm not strong or fearless like everyone says. I'm basically the opposite. I hate to show my actual emotions. I'm more scared than you can think of. Every night I cry into an empty darkness. Each tear drops into an endless black.

forever forgotten

I started to think that everyone that I've grown close to has been falling out of my grasp and that they were going further and further away. Especially those I met in primary, Eastwood Public. I knew so many people back then...Patrink Yap, Jason Park, Tianah Watson etc etc Some of those people now I just wanna beat the shit out of them (mostly just one) but for the others...Now, We never speak to each other, rarely look at each other when we do see each other...which is rarely.
Most of those i've grown up with, those that don't go to my high school that is.I've never had contacted them since.Which is quite sad because it makes me feel as if those that I know at the moment would soon forget me too like those in the past.

jaa

no comment

Soz for those readers who hate people who complain bout little things but i mite have quite a lot of complaining but not like my usual posts...you'll see

She's avoiding me, he ignores me and i'm starting to have an emotional breakdown. After all that happens my only friend disappears and said that he/she/it will never contact me agian. My mother won't talk to me normally, they usually end in violents. My brother balmes me for all that has happened. Even if it is my fault...I'm sorry. Why can't I have a happy family? One that loves you to the very end. I've never experienced that. I probably never will. I hate it! How you always scream, yell, hurt us. I want a mother that will listen to me, support me, not abuse me whether what I did really was wrong and one that will love me. Maybe my birth was a huge mistake....like you've always told me.

jaa

ENG is gayy~

WHOO...
I didn't do my assignment but I survived!! I didnt even need those super crap excuses i made up in those last enteries. ^^ but then again, I have english tomoro, and friday. IM DOOOOMED!! man, thats gay. Why so many english periods...My friend Olivia made the most hilarious gothic girl i've ever seen. I mean, SERIOUSLY!! I couldnt stop laughing for like AGES!!
Tomoro is the halloween~ mufti >< most of my friends are dressing normally but ive heard from people in my class that some are going to dress really retartedly. Can't wait to see ^^.

jaa

i need a proper excuse

Well, there use to be this girl that I really hate, I won't state her name coz that would just be mean. I mean, she still might be a real asshole, jerk, idiot etc to some people but I think she is sort of alright now. That's probably coz I hardly see her now but anywayz...
Well, in the morning, my friend Chou and Leung were having a fight of which phone was better ( as in colour). Just for fun, we did a survey and asked like two or three classes and some teachers. The reult was BLACK!! but only just. Dude, Black is such an awesome colour! Don't you think?!
I have this assignment due tomoro but i cant be screwed to do it!! It doesn't go to our report which is good or else I'd be working my ass off right now. My friend Chou and I were making some excuses. The list...

• A dog snatched it and ran away to a far away place.
• As I entered the train, some asshole knocked me over and the bag fell into that gap. I had to board the train so I couldn't get it.
• I lost it
• I couldn't be screwed.
• It fell in a drain and i couldn't reach it
• Left it at home

yeah and people, don't copy me or Chou coz we're rebels and we dun give a crap bout some subjects and work that doesn't go to our report...

Yawn

Not much happened, the usual saturday. Get out of bed, do usual stuff, comp, tv, work, etc... one of the only thing that didnt happen last week was my friend Kim brought some home made cheese ckae which was pretty nice. Also its been a week and a day since I started this blog thing. Yeah, you probably already realised I'm having less things to say..

what a coincidence

Just another typical saturday. Go on the computer, then tv and study. I studied like crap today and then some family friends came and were like 'I take your family der out to dinner tonight.' Since my parents don't like being rude, they accepted it.
After eating so much, my bro and I arm wrestled and well nuh he won. Then my dad was like' I take you to get some cake' and while choosing...all of a sudden a pair of hands cover my eyes.' I was like DICKY?! NO WAY! what the hell is that dude doing here?' I pull her hands away and my dad starts laughing. YOu can sorta tell its Dicky coz of her height and so she kinda presses your nose a little as well...

jaa, sayonara