Pretending

have you ever thought that you have been pretending to be someone your not? Being called things you aren't. Being known for things...

Being known for being strong...

Being known for being brave or fearless...

Being known for always being calm ...

For all those things are lies.....

Negative thinking

Ever since primary school i always thought negatively...thats why i always had to see the school counselor. Well, i have a feeling that since i started high school..its getting worst...mm...
thats not good...thinking that my "friends" are out of reach, not that i was actually there to begin with. Thinking that i'm an unwanted child...being nothing but alone...
 who can i go to if i need a shoulder to cry on...

info

Anime: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (FMA)
Song: Again by YUI
Album: Holiday in the Sun

Anime: Bleach
Song: Rolling Star
Album: CAn't buy my love

BTW all the songs are owned by YUI and the anime are owned by Tite Kubo for Bleach and FMA is owned by Hirumu Arakawa....  

Yui

lolz, well
its christmas...yeah merry christmas to those pplz that bother reading this...but ...BUT this post has nothing to do with christmas.
On the 24th of December...yes...yesterday....i got addicted to YUI. Jap singer.
for those song watch anime i know shes done the opennings on

                                                                                                                                                              

I only know these two that are in anime opennings but i know many more YUI songs. I'll add a link later... Rain and Merry Go Round are the ones ive heard most...                                               

Well Merry Christmas Everyone.... yeah....Jaa



 

           

                                                                                                      

                                                                                        

               

one way to spend your holiday

yoo~ wassup

i slept in since i had a headache but then i was kicked out of my own room coz my brother and my dad was gonna spray the house since there were too many bugs. And so i was basically kicked out of the house. I went to sleep on the grass but it was too spiky and so i climbed a tree just for fun but ended up falling asleep as well. After some time i awoke and uhh...kinda fell off the tree...kekeke...bad habits

well, thats all

jaa

so sad

well, hi agian
well the 2nd day of my 2nd week holiday but it so sad coz most of my friends are going over seas...
m_leung: America
kara: HK and Japan
Jen: HK
Val: Tasmania
Deb: Fiji
JK: South Korea
and so on. Well, i dont mind staying home but there is hardly anything to do....well

Jaa

holiday week 1

well, this holiday so far, ive been staying home watching random childrens tv shows and on the compu
My bro finally let me play on his ipod!! ITS BEEN 6 DAYS SINCE HE SAID I COULD!! that jerk...then i beat his high schore on fruit ninja (cool game) and then he said that i couldnt play anymore until he beats me again. hmph!
ter,,,yea not much. Im not an exciting person.

well, jaa

POol

my family and a famiyl friend went to a buffet to eat today and we went a little early and so we were playing pool. DUde, its so hard! I only got two balls and then my brother goes agro and shoots the rest in for me...Then my dad tries and he only got one...O_O then my mum who cant even hit the ball...
Does my bro go like pooling every night?!

well jaa

^^

well, today was my last day of school as a year 8...noooo~ i dun wanna be a year 9...i do wanna laptop though...NYAAA
it was rainign at cheltenham and the ground was all smoky...it was soo cool....but it was smelly~ and my dad called me for times during last period coz he thought i ended early...bleeh
well....i had too much chocolate, i feel ffaaattt~

jaa

reports

well, as you see in the title, today we got our reports...
I got a few awards but my brother still went "suck shit i still have more!" That arrogant jerk.
Well, i got home and kinda gave it to my parents...freaky moment..
My parents were like " You improved quite a lot BUT...you can do way better"
tsk, they have such high expectations...well thats all
SECOND LAST DAY OF SCHOOL~~

well jaa

long time no see

well, its been a while since i last posted something...COZ something actually happened...well not really but something that is worth saying....people who have read/ watched 'Rave Master' or 'Fairy Tail' would know...any of you remember plue? the white snowman looking thing?
Rave master: some called it a dog and a bug

Plue is the white thing...the cat is HAppy ><

Fairy Tail: the weakest in the stuff lucy uses.
Well, my great friend Marianne...the one with the retarded vids from way before...gave me a key-ring for Christmas...It wasn't wrapped!! And so my friend Deb was like..
*holding the key-ring (it was ...A KEY)* and said "I call upon PLue" something along the lines...it was hilarious ><
and also at school me and my friends are all given an animal ... that we resemble...ish
me: cat
chou: monkey
jane: duck and so on..
and i got a Xmas card sayin 'u may be the most adorable, milk-drinking person i've known' nyaaa...that was hilarious..

well Jaa

BORING~

Well, the only reason i haven't posted lately is coz my life is B_O_R_I_N_G and so there is nothing to say...and it goes for today too.....

BORING~~~

jaa

bllleeehhh

I need to take better care of my health....blehhh~ I was sick for the fourth time in a week >3< and dude that sucks....
My bro got the ipod touch 4 something like that....

jaa

Neko NYaaa

ever since rebecca started to let me use her phone...people think im a cat coz of the bell on the keyring. I got home and then my mum comes out with a broom O_O and she says...
"OH, i thought there was a cat entering the house"
Walks to bedroom, past my bros room
"SHirou (my nickname since emo-SHIROU...yea) do me a favour and shut that cat up. The bell's annoying me. I wanna sleep"

I was like WTF!

JAa

my crazy hair

This art belongs to someone on devianart~

OMG, after presentation day, i go home and take off my hair tie...then my hair goes all retarded...basically the picture of alice over there <----- but a little lower and all around not just on two side.....i was like WTF!!

PrEsEnTaTiOn DaY~

well...today was as you can tell...Cheltenham Girls Presentation Day...at the OPERA HOUSE with a special train as well. Man, rich school or something? well, last year our principal had a 40 something minute speech. This year it was only 20....and HER  SPEECH IS REALLY BOTHERING ME NOW!! KYAA~
Then we go to capital and waste like tonnes of money of getting toys...iunno what u call them.....AND QUESS WHAT ALL OF A SUDDEN TWO PEACOCKS APPEARED ON OUR STREET. IF I WAS FAST ENOUGH I'D TAKE A PHOTO!! BUT I WASNT!!! I WAS LIKE O_O
Jaa

keke

Soo funny...my mum and i went on a full on investigation on my dad earlier on today. He said he was going to para for some book borrowing and also to add petrol to his car. Then we were like if he was adding petrol why is it already half empty. We were like full on investigating...

Then we went to lena's house ^^ so fun lah~

lonely

Ever else deborah and I began to talk/play more than before I feel so distant with the other people. They are going out of my reach. It's as if I am meant to choose between them. I know marianne and deb would always be there but I just can't help but feel lonely. I don't like it...The other people have started to ignore me...pretend im not there...there is no such thing as real/ true friends...thats what i've been told....

some more vids of funny marianne

sorry the videos have been deleted

who ever knew marianne could be so funny~

Well for some reason for maths our teacher didn't give a crap about what we were doing so the entire class just playing around...including my and my friends Marianne, Jenny and Faye. ^^ I mean the entire period of no work. I was like What the f--- is wrong with our teacher today. Well, marianne started off lying on the floor but after being slapped by me and Faye by a fan she moved to the table. Yes she laid on the table. keke, she looked like a dead seal. She started looking at random things like one our class-mates dress zipper was lowered (quite a lot i'll add) and marianne was like O_O. Yeah, perverted indeed. TT_TT she made me record it ><.

she started to turn everything into Korean dramas, thats all she ever watches. She was like "Do you know how in Korean Dramas the guy is always trapping the girl on the wall with one or two hands (deminstrates on Jenny...who screamed) and then she was like "And in those farewell bits the guy is always touching the girls face like this (deminstrates on me *punch* deminstrates on Faye *punch* deminstrates on Jenny *screams.*  I'll upload more vids on another post cause even with just two it looks weird. OH! OH! yeah! it was soo funny! we were sitting in the car and then i turn my head to the window since I love staring out the window and I see this stick (it wasnt a stick) moving. i was like "Hmm, why is the strange stick moving when there isn't an wind and the car has stopped for the light to go green." *keeps looking* "HOLY CRAP!" I've sitting next to a giant spider this enitre time, kyyaa...hehe it looks funny" Then my brother turns around and chucks it out the window after he opened it....

Well, I'll add more videos....and Jaa

Karakuridoji Ultimate



Ulti looks like a girl~~ BUT ITS A BOY~~~

 well, since im quite a shamn king fan, it turns out that i  enjoy reading another of  Hiroyuki Takei's work. BUt im a little pissed off how the beginning of Shaman kings art was quite crap and then at the end of it it turned pro. ^^
Well, besides from that its quite a cool manga....TOO BAD THE LIBRARY ONLY HAS ONE VOLUME!! TT_TT now i have to read it online and there are hardly any sites that have this manga....
keeping this post short.
well, Jaa

so tired~

My head hurts so much~~
today for some reason I got home mega tired. The first place i head for...of course me bedroom. I FREAKEN MISSED THE DOOR KNOB!! and my head hit the door TT_TT. OMG im such a failure. ah well. again nothing happened...

jaa 

BOREDOM~~



An old photo. Emo_shirou on the right with a hoodie on.
It has ears ^^. Valerie on the left.

 Well today not much happened. Started off as gloomy weather. The kind i like and then an all sunny weather. The kind I HATE. Spent lunch an recess sitting there and doing nothing. Got so bored that me and Valerie went through Deborah's bag when she went somewhere. Took her 3D glasses and wore it for a brief moment and Valerie goes "Who are you!! What have you done with~" *takes them off* "Oh" * puts them back on "OI OI OI!!" something along those lines. Realised that Deb still has those Naruto stickers I gave her last year~ Got bullied in sport, TT_TT Emily Gum just had to kicke the ball that hard. I have a bruise
Well, that is basically it besides getting given a lecture when retrning home. Well Jaa

NOthin Much

Well, complete laid back today. Cant be screwed to study after my tutor left (shes 15 years old ^^). Started watching Pandora Hearts which my friend Clara gave me.
Keke, Oz and Gil are awesome~~~ ^-^
Yeah, I spent the entire day watching anime ^^


jaa

I wanna Deb hat~~

The picture has nothin to do with today but isnt it cute~~

Well today lunch my friends marianne and valerie kinda took Deborah's hair tie off and being Deborah she would what it back. They started running round the quad again and again. Then suddenly, Chloe goes poof and steals Deborah's hat and stuffs it on my head. And no offence Deb, your hat's a little big, i had to keep adjusting it coz it covered my eyes and i dun wanna bash into a wall.

I like that hat ^^ nyyaaa...T_T but Annie said i looked like some dude from a train thingy. You get the point.

well, Jaa

PRO CRAP UNDER MY BROTHER'S BED~



Flygon holding a marble and Torchic



Hey, While helping my brother go through all his crap under his bed, we found so much stuff!! Some pro stuff too!! Not all.  Here is something else i found. Blue-tac, pokemon models. The blue-tac is all hard now so we left them like they are. Dont ask me why Torchic is bigger than Flygon. NNYYAA!! Flygon is awe~SOME... lolz, yeah I'm still addicted to Pokemon.





Lookie, Lookie! isnt it pro~~



  We found his pro pictures. Which is meant to be three pictures on the same place. Quite Pro when you actually think about it but stuffed it up when i combined them. Well, i took photos!! I didnt scan them!! ...bllllleeeehhhh~~



Lookie~~



 And one of the final things i will say is that gundam model on the left side <-----. It's one of the small ones. I mean he has tonnes of gundam models and he has massive ones...and mini ones.Ahaha, And Deborah, that's a gundam model coz everytime you asked you never knew what they are. Now you do. Well, my bro said that i couldnt say too much about SOME of his stuff, so ~THE END ^^.

Jaa



just too hilarious

yo.

well, today lunch was just too hilarious! I mean dude seriously! well. I'll just off with Chou and Annie doing a pro dance, which they have been doing in a dance class. Quite a pro dance, i even managed to get it a recording of like 20 seconds of it without getting up and defend myself. The song is quite good.Not much though.  

Another funny thing was, my friend Chou (the one dancing...that you can see enitre body. not the one on the right) went to buy cup noodles ($2.50) and when she was half way through it. My other friend, Dicky chucked jelly inside it and when they tried to take it out, that was probably when the jelly kida combined with the cup noodle. AND DUDE WAS IT HORRIBLE!!! THE TASTE WAS SOO OFF!!! BLLLEEEEHHH~~~                                       Another moment was when Marianne, Valerie, Karin and I  asked Selena what everyone was talking about. Her reply was "BABIES." OKAY?~ and then you hear my friend Jennifer going... "HOW CAN YOU SAY THEY LOOK LIKE BANANA MUFFINS!!~

JAA~~



Cant think of title

Something I did last year, Mugi was rachel but then i realised
it wasn't finished ^^ and for someone like me. I would cut it
out and upload it anywayz. SOWIE RACHEL!!
This took heaps of work if you use old programs like Paint
kekeke. BTW this is my winter uniform for those who dont know



After a really tiring PDR (Presentation Day Rehearsal)(third period), we had lunch since our tuesdays are different to all the other weekdays.Firstly I'm pissed off coz the teacher, MRs Mead, said that she told us that year 7 and 9s are on one side and 8 and 10 are on the other. When basically the entire year 8 and 10 are on the opposite side they go "too bad! i said that side so go back to that side!!"

bleehhh~~

It was soo funny~ since 7 and 9's having a slightly different part, I got confused once in a while and my friend Marianne (whom was next to me) was soo loud~~ i decided to copy her and her voice kept breaking!! Buhaha!!!

Then at lunch we had nothing to do, which ended up in a game of charades and if you knew Marianne. Everything she acts out would have something to do with 'your mum,'  yeah, akward...


jaa

Soo tired~~

Isnt this a pro code geass cosplay ><

Well, basically nothing happened...
~wake up
~do the usual stuff when you wake up
~go on comp
~tutor comes
~eat
~tv
~comp
~sleep
and so on
Quite a boring Sunday and its soo hot at Carlo~Wahh~~
So much school work too. Kyaa
well, ill end it here since there isnt anything else to say

Jaa

Ruse



Horokeu from Shaman King. He's smoking!!! Smack
him Ren!!! Its bad for him!!!

Today i was meant to go to Eastwood P.S Spring Fair but I ended up going to James Ruse's Fair thingy. I actaully went to see Lena's performance though. It was hilarious how she had to perform a dance on mega hot ground and her friend Nancy that was filming was like zoom-in and zoom-out while she waited. Met some new people in Ruse, but for me in yr 8 and them in yr 10 was quite A-W-K-W-A-R-D~
My way of memorising them.
Lena- The family Friend
Alice- The Fashion Freak or Ask-to-many-questions freak
Nancy- The Idiot/Retard Freak (she knows that)
Linda- The quiet but yet the most hilarious
Ashley (and it's a HE) The Gay guy
Yeah, quite an akward day walking around Ruse then going all the way to Para. Right when we went out of the bus it was like pouring!! Seriously!!
~~~~~~~~
Back to Ruse
~~~~~~~~
Lena and Ash* were rushing for the raffle so we ran from the bus stop to the place. I was standing there and then the person was like " And the prize goes to Deborah Wareham"
I was like O_O Deborah??!!!

Then she sees me and drags me from the ppl i know to a group of unknown people, besides her siblings.
~~~~~~~~
Well, basically all that happened

Ren Kicked Horo ^^. I dont own this
Ren pick. Dezu-The-Shaman
from devinart does.
^^ she she sees this- Im
Emo-Shirou

Jaa

KEke



a little like this but i dont like ice-cream so  i
didn't eat it.
I dun own this pic.

 sorry that i havent posted anything on the past two days, well as you see. I was sick...very sick. I even skipped school ^^ but then nothing happened that day so I basically skipped nothing =3=. And you know how sick people tend to sleep a lot? Well, I slept a little too much and I couldnt sleep at night. Which was akward coz i went to bed at 9:30 but ended up sleeping at 12:30.
Then the next day which is today. Yeah, that sounds weird. We had a singing practice for PD (presentation day). WHY DID I SKIP THRUSDAY NOT FRIDAY!!! Today was also extremely hot and i actually drank water. Yay me!



Jaa

boredom

This is my VA work. Its meant to be a cupcake but i changed it
badly as you can see. Its a neko~~
Kawaaiiii deshhhooouuu~

kyaa. NOt much to say today but we had a presentation day practise and being in Cheltenham Girls, of course there is singing. Afterwards my voice was all retarded (an hour and 5 minutes dude and withe a low voice like mine singing high notes you'd figure out that it doesnt work well).

But then my friend Valerie was being such a retard. She has a pro voice that can imitate heaps of stuff. LIKE SERIOUSLY!! but then if she wanted to be a retard and sing horrible, she can do so well at that too. A friend ABBA said that if she ever busks she would be paid to stop singng. Which is funny, she would be rich~~
Yeah nothing happened today but that

                                                                                               Jaa

Dark Rose



Well, I drew this rose, its still not that good coz im still learning how to draw roses. There soo hard!! During a VA lesson my friend Rebecca and I splatted red dye over the art. Doesn't it look cooler!! It's meant to represent blood. I got the idea of this art from that story i made up on the left side somewhere, the words are  three different shades of red. I also have a picture of before I destroyed it.

Still I'm so proud. I didn't screw the rose as mouch as I usually would of and the dye actually looks good on the thingy.

http://emo-shirou.deviantart.com/ <---a website of where I keep the stuff I draw. Well, the ones im bothered to scan and submit. It takes quite a while. Those with acc would know what i mean. So, To get a better/ bigger look at the pic go to 'Browse Gallery" and look for it somewhere.

Woul appreciate it if you commented or stuff like that. Sankyuu berri mucchi. (Jinglish= Jap/Eng)

Well, jaa 



lost and found

IT was just too cute and i had to put it on. Tao Ren from Shaman
King. I dun own this art. keke, theres a ducky, milk and
peach. CHIBI REN!!

soo, after an hour of english tutoring and eating lunch we were clearing out the garage. I NEVER KNEW I HAD SOOO MUCH CRAP!! I had like three big boxes of toys (and of course I kept most of them) and my brother was like "hey! my pikachu slippers!"
It took ages to wort out.
Then my bro and I had to move wood coz we chopped a tree quite some time ago and had to get rid of the wood. A little moment while we were doing that. BTW my brother is kevin for those who don't know.
*kevin plays with lizard*
Me:: Kisama, get back to work!!
kev: but its a lizard!!
*lifts wood*
 ah! lizard here has a friend!!
*jumps in to catch the other lizard*
Me: O_O
Kev: nah, that ones hurt
*kicks log*
  SHIITT!! that could kill it!!
 *lifts log* actually he's fine~
*log falls on where the lizard was*
kev: WAHHHH!! MR LIZARD!!! *grabs log and chucks it towards me*
Me: TEEEMEEEEE!!!!get back to work!
kev: *grabs wood*
        *stops*
        *JUMPS away*
        YUCKY YUCKY YUCKY!!!!!
Me: O_O
kev: there was a grub!! AND I TOUCHED IT!!
wu::= = k~i~s~a~m~a~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another moment was we were meant to CARRY it down te drive way and the next thing i see is my brother going "Bigggy Loggyy rolling down the yucky drive way"
"Hey Wu (that's what he calls me...AND WE HAVE THE SAME SURNAME!!) catch it"
*turns around*
me: O_O
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now I have a massive bruise on my fist for blocking it

Jaa

Wedding



after the wedding...keke
cut my mum out.

ok, so this is the first time I've been invited to a wedding and so, of course my mum would go crazy about what i am wearing etc. Ended up wearing a white and black shirt, yellow jacket thingy, white skirt and the only thing that hasn't changed....running shoes ^^.
 <-- Im only putting a small picture coz i dun wanna show a big one. ^^.
The wedding was quite funny. The flower and the boy. I forgot what u call that. They were like soo young (3-5 years old). The boy was like shhoonnn~ down the thingy and the flower girl was like small step...small step.
Then there were some kids blowing bubbles at the people as they left...
                                       They spoke for soo long, one thing i hate bout weddings. Their speeches are soo
                                       long. arrghh.
                                      Meh, got free food.

                                        jaa

All Alone.



This isn't the original picture. I changed the
boy into a girl...Yes, it's actually a boy. And
I added text to the picture and the little star
thingy on the left corner.

 I'm so mega pissed today. So pissed at so many things! Some girl in my class, she's soo retarded sometimes! Then there are people in school that are pissing me off and also my family is pissing me off. I wish I could just hide away in the shadows and not be part of any of this.
My eyes' were teary but I didn't cry, I clenched my fist under my jumper sleeve, there was this thing in my throat that made in so painful. She pissed me off so badly. I wish I could just punch her face. All so cares about is appearance, it's so annoying. She's always like 'Why are you so ugly?! Why cant you be like me? I'm like soo pretty."
Well not fully like that but you get the point.

jaa

Shaman King~ Boredom



I do not own this


Lolz, Nothing happened today, like seriously nothing!! So I got soo bored that I searched up shaman king and  found a Horo and Ren picture. My favourite characters from the anime/manga Shaman King and Shaman King Hana.
<---
I'd be dizzy by now.
Hopefully I have much more to say next time.
Jaa

KOWAI!!



From now on I might suddenly have some
pictures here ^^ And that is chibi mini me coz
I dont do my hair like that anymore.keke.

 Today I felt mega sick just before maths (Woohoo) and so i go to the sick bay. AND DUDE!! I lie there staring at a security camera!! But ended up falling asleep. When I woke up there were like these two gnomes staring at me. I was like WTF!!! Dude, Cheltenham Sick Bay is much scarier than Eastwood P.S. The Office Lady person was like I'll wake you up at 1:00pm and than at 1:15pm I walk up to her coz I was feeling better, she goes "whoops I forgot."
For eng I had to draw a dragon as a title page, I ask my mum how bad/good it is and she goes "it looks like a dog." Then I got 9/10 and so for those who know me i would go 'In your face!' to my mum saying that even my teacher notices that it looks like a dragon not a dog.
IN a previous post I mentioned how there was someone that always made me angry. Well, now she's alright. She doesn't piss me off anymore but NOW!! There's someone else who pisses me off!! And she USE to be a childhood friend....Yeah, I definately need anger management but STILL!!! SHE"S SUCH A JERK!!

Jaa

Anger Management

Well, as you can see on the title you can probably tell whats going on. Some people that i know piss me off so much that i like yeah....go full on angry. That is why I have a giant bruise on my fist for the third time in a row so far.
I find it hilarious coz my friend Rachel was always like " YOu definately need anger Mangement" since primary to now. But it is better than cuttig myself right? Tsk. I come from a violet family background anywayz.
Koraa!! Some people are such idiotic bastards!! I'm full on pissed at the moment but I already have a bruise so i'll probably start biting myself or something.

Jaa

Luna Park

Today my grade went to Luna Park for .....some maths excursion??! Retarded neh? But we did get to go on the rides and such. The first on was this spiny thing...well basically all the rides were spiny but like the 'Rotor' or something. IT was hilarious coz when the ground lowered my friend was screaming for the ground, sort of like this. "OMG!!! OMG!!! WHERE"S THE GROUND!!! I LIKE THE GROUND!! COME BACK!!It was quite akward being next to her at the moment.
 The the rest of the group left since they didn't go on that ride and THAT friend started complaining so hilariously.SHe was like "OMG! why didn't they wait?! are we not their friends?! Their such assholes" HIlarious moment I tell you.
There also this ride called the 'Ranger,' which is a 360 degree spinning ship. For once I was actually freaked out when we were just at the top 180 degree and not coming down. My head was like WTF!! GO DOWN!! GO DOWNNN!!! DON"T BREAK!! but afterwards if got pretty lame coz it was predicable.
 My friend Valerie was laughing the entire moment when people screamed. Akward~
Oh yeah! there was this whatcha call it ride...eto...ah! Souda!! 'Tango Train'. It was akward because just a moment ago i bought chips and started eating a little. THEN she goes "I wanna go on that! Hurry!!" and she made me go on a ride with a fork still on mouth!! KORAAAA!!

Well, result of a fun day wwere just three bruises, two cuts and two very painful legs. I fell over just coz i needed the bathroom!!

Typical weekends

Just normal saturday and sunday studying like shit. Since my brother is doing horribly at the moment my parents keep making me do work. I have my japanese work-book due on wednesday. MInd you its thick!! I hardly do any in class so I had to do it in the weekends. I'm not sure if im happy at the moment that im 3/4 done or sad that im only 3/4 done. My eyes and head hurts...

never ending darkness

It is now that I realise my 'Friends' really are out of reach. They've turned their backs on me, just like they  promised that they wouldn't. I sat where we usually sit but straight when I put my things down they move away. It's me isn't it. I move back beginning to break into tears but Deborah supports and so I stopped.

"You're Strong being able to stop those tears flowing" she says but I know the truth, I'm weak, I'm extremely fragile. I'm not strong or fearless like everyone says. I'm basically the opposite. I hate to show my actual emotions. I'm more scared than you can think of. Every night I cry into an empty darkness. Each tear drops into an endless black.

forever forgotten

I started to think that everyone that I've grown close to has been falling out of my grasp and that they were going further and further away. Especially those I met in primary, Eastwood Public. I knew so many people back then...Patrink Yap, Jason Park, Tianah Watson etc etc Some of those people now I just wanna beat the shit out of them (mostly just one) but for the others...Now, We never speak to each other, rarely look at each other when we do see each other...which is rarely.
Most of those i've grown up with, those that don't go to my high school that is.I've never had contacted them since.Which is quite sad because it makes me feel as if those that I know at the moment would soon forget me too like those in the past.

jaa

no comment

Soz for those readers who hate people who complain bout little things but i mite have quite a lot of complaining but not like my usual posts...you'll see

She's avoiding me, he ignores me and i'm starting to have an emotional breakdown. After all that happens my only friend disappears and said that he/she/it will never contact me agian. My mother won't talk to me normally, they usually end in violents. My brother balmes me for all that has happened. Even if it is my fault...I'm sorry. Why can't I have a happy family? One that loves you to the very end. I've never experienced that. I probably never will. I hate it! How you always scream, yell, hurt us. I want a mother that will listen to me, support me, not abuse me whether what I did really was wrong and one that will love me. Maybe my birth was a huge mistake....like you've always told me.

jaa

ENG is gayy~

WHOO...
I didn't do my assignment but I survived!! I didnt even need those super crap excuses i made up in those last enteries. ^^ but then again, I have english tomoro, and friday. IM DOOOOMED!! man, thats gay. Why so many english periods...My friend Olivia made the most hilarious gothic girl i've ever seen. I mean, SERIOUSLY!! I couldnt stop laughing for like AGES!!
Tomoro is the halloween~ mufti >< most of my friends are dressing normally but ive heard from people in my class that some are going to dress really retartedly. Can't wait to see ^^.

jaa

i need a proper excuse

Well, there use to be this girl that I really hate, I won't state her name coz that would just be mean. I mean, she still might be a real asshole, jerk, idiot etc to some people but I think she is sort of alright now. That's probably coz I hardly see her now but anywayz...
Well, in the morning, my friend Chou and Leung were having a fight of which phone was better ( as in colour). Just for fun, we did a survey and asked like two or three classes and some teachers. The reult was BLACK!! but only just. Dude, Black is such an awesome colour! Don't you think?!
I have this assignment due tomoro but i cant be screwed to do it!! It doesn't go to our report which is good or else I'd be working my ass off right now. My friend Chou and I were making some excuses. The list...

• A dog snatched it and ran away to a far away place.
• As I entered the train, some asshole knocked me over and the bag fell into that gap. I had to board the train so I couldn't get it.
• I lost it
• I couldn't be screwed.
• It fell in a drain and i couldn't reach it
• Left it at home

yeah and people, don't copy me or Chou coz we're rebels and we dun give a crap bout some subjects and work that doesn't go to our report...

Yawn

Not much happened, the usual saturday. Get out of bed, do usual stuff, comp, tv, work, etc... one of the only thing that didnt happen last week was my friend Kim brought some home made cheese ckae which was pretty nice. Also its been a week and a day since I started this blog thing. Yeah, you probably already realised I'm having less things to say..

what a coincidence

Just another typical saturday. Go on the computer, then tv and study. I studied like crap today and then some family friends came and were like 'I take your family der out to dinner tonight.' Since my parents don't like being rude, they accepted it.
After eating so much, my bro and I arm wrestled and well nuh he won. Then my dad was like' I take you to get some cake' and while choosing...all of a sudden a pair of hands cover my eyes.' I was like DICKY?! NO WAY! what the hell is that dude doing here?' I pull her hands away and my dad starts laughing. YOu can sorta tell its Dicky coz of her height and so she kinda presses your nose a little as well...

jaa, sayonara

Akward way of entertaining a lonely friend

Nothing to say besides the akwardness during lunch. Since the yr 9 were at their last day of camp it was still really quiet and then we were sitting in the shade since it was extrememly hot. Then i see my friend Marianne sitting in the middle of the quad with an empty surrounding. We move towards her, I sit next to her but everyone else starts circling us and SINGING nursery rhymes. Humpty Dumpty, I'm a Little Tea-pot, that weasel one, Old McDonald, Itsy Bitsy Spider, jack and Jill and that's all i can think of. Extremely AKWARD~. During that time I had just finished a milkshake I bought at the canteen and Marianne took it, started pulling grass, filling the cup (it was quite big) and asking them whether they wanted some. Yesterday and this morning was quite sad but towards the afternoon I started feeling better. ^^

a not so typical thruday

Dunno why but i feel like im being crushed by pressure. My depressed self from year 6 and 7 is coming back and then i had a headache...I had an urge to cut again but i didnt....I dunno what to do. I was having QUITE a fun day but then i had a feeling that my friend hated me, my family avioded me...that's why im home alone at the moment and I kept getting bad comments ealier through e-mail.
I mean, my 'FRIENDS' were being all funny and stuff but i didn't even smile or laugh at any of them, usually i would...
I don't wanna be the ass i was last year though. Sitting by a wall and staring at people or the sky. The sky is emotionaless. It's either blue or grey. Sometimes i really wished i didn't exist and so i didn't have to cope with this. It happened so much last year but the wound was healed, except now the wound is re-openning. I thought i took a huge step last year and that this wouldn't happen again. I guess i was wrong...

typical wednesday...besides the home bit

Well, nothing special happened today so yeah...
At school first period, Jap. Letting my language teacher keep calling out my mistakes...
Second period, geography. Having to cope with a teacher that doesnt shut up. LIKE SERIOUSLY!! she spoke non-stop for the entire hour!!
Third Period, science. Getting nervous for maths common test next and messing up every word on my sheet. It looked like a piece of crap. Good thing i dont have to hand it in.
Fourth period, maths. After being so nervous I was like wtf this test isnt as hard as i thought. Then teacher's phone rang. Dude, she has such a lame ring tone.
Last period, english. Create a lame picture book. The pistures were hilarious. This lesson wasn't as bad as i thought but i had a headache and my head hurt like shit so it was horrible.

At home...sitting on the bench, swinging legs while i watch my dad cook. Also pissing my brother off when he was sleeping. DUDE that guys like goes 'gets up, goes to school, comes back, get some food, goes sleep, wakes up at dinner, eats, back on comp, play games, shower, goes to sleep. Thats like his time table and yet he's in NOrth Sydney Boys. That nerd.

Not much too say....

WTF is wrong with Austrlia's weather?! It's always one day extremely hot and then the next is like holy crap its freezing!! The weather here is like soo~ bad...most of the time.
~~~
I was meant to go to swimming today but i had 2 hours and 10 minutes to do 7 worksheets. The person next to me 'Olive' was hilarious. First you see her eating everytime you see her. Next she does the music trick i do and pulls the earphone to the jumper sleeve so she could listen to music and not get busted. Then she kept mouthing the words of the songs making the teacher glare at her...SHE WAS GLARING AT ME TOO!!! then Olive went back to eating...= = yeah, not much happened then
~~~
My friend Chou did a science test today of which she had missed yesterday. Even though i didnot study, IT WAS EXTREMELY HARD!! and then she goes "oh, it was too easy, i got soo bored." I mean what the hell?!! and she said she did not study or listen in class.
~~~
Dun know why all of a sudden I became a Vocaloid freak again...KAGAMINE REN AND RIN ARE AWESOME!!! TWINS!!!
~~~
Also for some reason for tech tsk and I were testing our Korean Friend her chinese...akward right?
~~~
yeah...i dont hav much to say today...I wanna the words to be colourful ^^

I HATE MY F-EN COMPUTER

OMG!! THIS COMPUTER IS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!!! EVERYTIME I AM HALF WAY ON DOING SOMETHING OR TALKING WITH PPL ON MSN IT SUDDENLY CRASHES!! KYAA!! as you see ppl...that is the reason i keep suddenly logging off and signing back on but i am not as mean as my brother who would suddenly kicked the monitar, and no he is not that mean to kick it to pieces...

sheesh...

STUPID TEST!! Random arm wrestle?

 Not much really happened to day. The weather was too hot and there was BASICALLY NO SHADE!! stupid Cheltenham for cutting down trees...Also i had a hard science test of which i did not study for and of course i dont listen in class. That's why it was hard. All the stuff i had memoried in the past was not needed at all!! BUt then my friend Olive (Olivia) gave me a funny way to memories how to test carbon dioxide, hydrogen and oxygen.
Carbo-milky, Hydro-pop and Oxy-glow
KORAA!! I hate science!! It's sooo~ lame.
Dun know why but after science was lunch and my brain hurt like shit (sorry bout the language) and i was dragged into AN ARM WRESTLING MATCH!! SOOME OF MY FRIENDS STRENGTH ARE LIKE CRAZY!!! But I beat most of them...which is good ^^ YATTA!!
And it was sooo~ funny i took my ipod to school tday so i could listen on the train and MArianne found out! She was like going on high coz she could rotate the menu!! YOu should of heard her laugh it was like so retarded...

LOST A CAR!! BUT I HAVE AN IPOD!!

Dad: Wake up
EmoShirou: 5 more minutes
Dad: NOW! your mother and brother were in a car accident
Emoshirou:I said 5 more....SAY WHAT!! *chucks the blanket*
~~~~~~~~~~~
As you can probably tell in that little scene that my bro and mum were in an accident. That's the third car my mum lost in Australia and my dad hasnt lost one...sheesh take care on the road. My bro SORTA injured his neck. It wasnt a big accident though, which was good.
 It was like so early in the morning when it happened and my mum was all panicy and had to have some company besides my brother so they called the closest person which was my bro's friend, Dennis. They were like still half asleep when my bro called them and their dad were just letting their dog go outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Afterwards we went to their house for like a break and they were like 'Oh crap! Bobby (the dog) is still outside!!' Its so funny, everytime my brother went near the dog it ran away from him and kept barking at him. Smart Dog.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, I dont know whether to be sad that we lost a car or happy that I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST IPOD/ LISTENING DEVICE BESIDES MY PHONE!!
As you can tell im on high since i got it and my bro was like...
 "WTF! why do you get an Ipod! I want another one!"

Granny Smith Fest...

YO wassup!!
Today was the Granny Smith Festival...so basically a celebration for the Green Apple. I went to Eastwood with my friends Marianne, Valerie, Jane and Vicky to like play around. Since i was late Val, Jane and Marianne started going around first and GUESS WHAT!! O Val's first time on the lucky draw or something she won a giant stuffed shark...which she called Sharkie. Dude, the shark was awesome but she wouldnt giv it away unless you gav her 20 bucks o(T_T)o.
We went on a ride called the 'Storm' and we did this mini game on the ride. Marianne lost and they wouldnt stop calling her a loser until they completely forgot about it.
Afterwards we went to visit mine and marianne's primary school, Eastwood Public.
THE PLACE IS SO RETARTED NOW!!
THEY REPLACED THE BIG HANDBALL COURTS WITH FAKE GRASS!!! OMG!! that's like my childhood memory gone. Yes, I was a handball freak in yr 3-6. But you should of  seen Marianne, she was complaining her ass off! Seriously!! She complained non-stop! But then it was hilarious to see how much of a messy eater she was. She had soya sause all over her pants and her fingers were full on sticky. She also had like a small dot of yellow paint she was like going 'My mum's gonna kill me'.
AND IM SOOOOO~ PISSED OFF!! I SAW SOMEONE I DIDNT WANT TO SEE!!! that dude pisses me off so much!! He should go die!!
keke...

TSELENA and her random imagination

OMG!!
okay...i was meant to take bus home today but my friend Dicky said her mum would take me home so we went around  for a while. On our way back some dude said his friend liked me. Im pretty sure he was joking though but then now i feel bad for telling his to fuck off ><
okay...this is Tselena's imagination.
Guy's friend: Hey, my friend likes you
Jeshikka: Huh?
Guy's friend: I said, my friend likes you
(Jeshikka turns. Sees a tall shy handsome dude)
Handsome dude: Hi.
Jeshikka: Hi...
Handsome dude: Sorry, my friend is just joking around
Jeshikka: Oh, that's okay (starts to walk away)
Handsome dude: No! Wait, I do like you...
Jeshikka: (shocked) WHUTTT?!?! But you said your friend was just joking
Handsome dude: Well, i told my friend that i can't take my eyes off you
Jeshikka: Oh...umm...thanks?
Handsome dude: Oh, were you going to the library?
Jeshikka: Yes, i need to return something (hold's up "Fairy Tail" manga)
Handsome dude: Oh! One of my classmates really likes that manga...what's it about? Actually, I was just gonna go to the library as well. Wanna walk there together?
I mean WTF!!!

Wassup!!!

Yo people!
This is Emo Shirou and Jessica for those who already know me...From today onwards i will try my best to start this blog, kekeke. Im gonna forget someday.
Today was hilarious. My friend Marianne made my friend Dicky (Vicky) run all the way to another oval just to call her brother coz she thought was was going t miss the bus but when Dicky ran there and back the bus doors werent even open.
Stupid Jap test...It der sooooo~ hard...

okay...ill stop